Time for this Grumpy Dude to get back on the pissed off, and irate band wagon. Why you ask? Well, a do-good single mother filed a complaint with the Rhode Island branch of the American Civil Liberties Union last May, saying that her child felt excluded from a father-daughter dance because she did not have a father figure to take her. Though the complaint was filed with the ALCU in May, the school district didn’t resolve it until August. Bureaucracy in action gotta love it, but I digress. [Click here to read more about the incident »] [Read more…]
There’s a reason I don’t own a gun. If I did there’d be a lot of dead general contractors lying in my now floor-less fcking kitchen! That’s right, for those of you keeping score at home…my flooring issues (documented in a previous article here) have never been adequately rectified. I didn’t bother blogging about it, because let’s face it, floors aren’t sexy or topical, unless of course, I’m writing a blog about having sex on a floor, which of course, this isn’t. Mores the pity. [Read more…]
For the last 17 days and a few odd hours, minutes and seconds, and totally unbeknownst to most folks, I haven’t had one single solitary fcking cigarette. And so far, I haven’t killed anyone…but it’s early days yet.
After 25+ years of smoking I am once again attempting to quit. And I mean to do it this fcking time. In the past I’ve tried patches, gum, the usual bullsht non-smoking aids, and they (obviously) haven’t helped. So this time I’m trying it cold fcking turkey. No gravy, no cranberry sauce, no crispy skin, just cold cold fcking dry as a bone turkey. [Read more…]
Let’s make this really clear, right now, before anyone gets hurt…Loren and I love you. We can’t help it. You’ve been a part of our lives like a familiar and fun family member since we sprang, grumpy-like, from our mothers wombs! We were weaned on Sesame Street, Electric Company, and ZOOM! (In fact, just five minutes ago Loren and I were singing the original theme song!) You’ve been there for us our entire lives! You’ve nurtured our interests with such a wide range of fantastic programming, from Nature and Nova, to Masterpiece Theatre and Julia Child! If it wasn’t for you, where would we have discovered Monty Python, Fawlty Towers, and the wonderful world of British Television? Would we know how to paint like Bob Ross? Would we have learned how the birds & the bees actually do it? [Read more…]
A few weeks ago, I was approached by my neighbor (whom I refer to as The Hippie) and she asked me if I’d feed and water their cat while they were away for the weekend, and she’d pay me for my efforts. Being the neighborly guy I am, I agreed without hesitation. The neighbor brought over the house key and gave me her instructions as to the care of the cat, and over the weekend I performed my duties as per her instructions. They arrived home the later part of Monday evening. [Read more…]