What the hell is wrong with you, Michaels? My niece is coming over for a visit this weekend, and she absolutely loves to build those cute foam houses by Creatology®. So like the doting uncle I am, I thought I’d stop by your convenient location near my home and look to see if you had some Halloween* foam houses available. As I got out of my car and started walking to your store I was glad I didn’t have to be outside for long, it was hot and humid as hell out there! When I stepped through your doors, I noticed a certain lack of something and my brow began to glisten with a million tiny beads of perspiration. Hmmm, I thought to myself, is it just me or is it a furnace in here? That’s when I saw the big industrial fans working furiously throughout the store. Oh no. I flash-backed to this past spring, when (of course) I was shopping for Easter foam houses. Your air conditioner was broken then. The clerk I asked told back then told me it was broken and that you were “right on it” and “working quick” to “get it fixed”. What a joke. I heard from a friend of mine that it was still “broken” two weeks later.
But that was then, and this is now. And right now, dear Michaels, your employees look like they are toiling in one of the pits of hell. Moving lethargically through the store, sweat pouring down their faces, they look like they’d kill a person for some sweet icy air-conditioned relief. I stopped one of the slow moving clerks, asked about the houses, and made the off hand comment, “So, the air conditioner broken again?” If looks could kill this tiny little waif of a sweaty clerk would’ve killed me, flayed me, and snacked on my succulent entrails. “No”, she said, “Corporate turned it off.” To which I replied with my usual snappy come back of, “Huh?” “Yeah,” she sputtered, “the electricity bill was too high last month, so they turned it off.” I quickly worked through the many stages of grief with her, and found out that you control ALL of your stores from your Irving, Texas headquarters. Your in-store management team cannot control their own air and heating environments! Lemme ask you a question, Michaels…are you fucking high? Seriously. WTF? You live in fucking Texas, last time I was there, it was fucking hot, do you not understand that it’s hot over here in Tennessee? It’s August for fucks sake. Sure, it sucks to be a customer in that store right now, but your poor employees are SUFFERING. What the fuck is wrong with you? It’s a rhetorical question obviously. You know what’s wrong, you just don’t care. Plain and simple.
This got me wondering how you treat your other stores. So I did a really quick and not very thorough search using the search term, “michaels arts and crafts air conditioning problems” and besides finding a ton of HVAC companies named, Michael, I discovered, in no short order, these two complaints on Yelp:
I betcha the staff is “awful” because they are suffering from heat-stroke.
I’m sure I’ve barely skimmed the surface with complaints. Next, I called your customer service 1-800-MICHAELS, explained the problem to a voice-mail system and I’m awaiting your reply. Will it be a cold day in hell before I get that reply, or a cold day in your stores?